A Letter

I believe I said something to you years ago that, to me, was just goofing around, as [your man] and I used to do. You know him so you know that his humor (at least when I frequented him) knew no bounds. I saw you as an extension of him, and felt like I could say anything. And I said something that was insensitive &/or insulting to you. I apologize for that; I didn't know where that line was, and I crossed it.

You don't need to reply, and, with respect, I'm not asking you for anything. This is not a change of heart or a change of mind. It's not an awakening or a bid for redemption. It's just taken me this long to figure out what [your] perspective was on this, when I finally saw [your man]'s post on [a website] about [me]. I wanted to clear the air because it all got out of control really fast and I didn't know how, exactly. 

I hope the tone of this message is not offensive, but it contains the thing I value most, and that is honesty. In accordance with the Golden Rule, I want to be treated the same way. I know that the truth hurts, so it won't surprise me when it does. 

 I just wanted to put it out there that I wish I hadn't said what I said.

The Cutting Edge of Entertainment

Today's topical subject: a man who died 24 years ago.

I want to talk about Bill Hicks. I've been a long-time fan of comedy, and stand-up comedy in particular. I somehow missed Bill Hicks for the most part. I must have crossed paths with his work at some point, but he never stayed with me as one that I remembered.

I just watched an hour-long special of Hicks doing stand-up. It was the "Relentless" video. Sure, some of it was funny. And I could see where Denis Leary and others got some of their inspiration from. But, for me, suddenly becoming painfully loud, with the microphone halfway down his throat, making nonspecific and unhelpful noises for irritation's sake, and for seconds on end, is just not funny. Yelling one word of a sentence doesn't make the word OR the sentence funny. It just makes me cringe from the unpleasantness of the sudden roar. I don't like really loud noises, and I especially don't like them being made intentionally for no good reason for way too long.

I'm no prude when it comes to comedy, but, regardless of who you are or what your intention is, I generally don't want to hear about your penis, or what others may or may not do with it. It's not a source of pleasure for me. I don't find gratuitous language for its own sake to be entertaining either. There are plenty of comedians whose work I've enjoyed who get caught up in a profanity as a punchline. Just because you say "F**king" something, doesn't make the line funny. I'm glancing your way, Lewis Black. Acting angry can be funny in the right context, I'm not against that. But Hicks, in the film I watched (though mostly listened to; I'm at work and must look like I'm getting work done), would yell a single word when there was no apparent cause for anger. It's like one article I read said: "You always know which bit in a Hicks routine is a joke because it’s the bit he shouts. That’s helpful because there’s no other way you’d be able to tell. After all, it’s not like you’re laughing." (from Shut Up About Bill Hicks, Vice https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/gqw8wm/shut-up-about-bill-hicks-russel-crowe-movie). I wouldn't go quite that far, as there were some funny parts that didn't involve yelling. But when he did yell, it seemed to come from nowhere, and I just got the impression of a pent-up, coked-out Tourette sufferer barely hanging on. It didn't make the funny parts any less funny, but it brought down the average laughability level when the peaks are pointless, leaving the jokes far below in volume. It reminds me of when my brother would take off his cranked-up, overly-distorted guitar and lean it up against his speaker cabinet, volume knob still wide open, treating the crowd to a piercing scream of feedback, only because it was the irreverent thing to do. I can't clearly define what I think is a "proper or appropriate use" of irreverence, but I'm pretty sure causing hearing damage to a club crowd does not rank in the top 5.

So Bill Hicks is fine, but I prefer the calm subtlety of Louis C.K., scandal and all.

Introduction

Hi.

I'm an undereducated, middle-aged white man with opinions that span the breadth of mainstream media talking points. I get wound up with impotent rage at every conservative declaration, and I fall right into all of the liberal "wisdom" and causes, without actually knowing anything about them. I fell hard for Bernie Sanders, and I took on all of his opposition on Facebook, telling them how stupid they were and how many spelling and punctuation mistakes they made.

I rail about black men being shot by police, yet I've never talked to a black man or a police man about it. I just make up my mind from media coverage and general liberal outcries.

I like to say I'm not racist, but I was raised in a time when racism was a part of our upbringing. It wasn't taught with hatred, it was taught with laughter. I heard racist jokes, I didn't engage in racist behavior. I was mostly insulated from other cultures by being raised in a hippy-ass small town in Southern California, where you had to go two cities away to find someone from one country away. My dad told us a fair number of racist jokes, but they were based on absolute silliness, not on real aspects of other races. I think my mom was more racist than my dad, but she kept quiet about it. I'm grateful for that.

So I may come on here and post things that I have no business speaking on, and I'll surely come off as a naive ass. But as I am working to better myself with study, contemplation, and medication, I hope to improve my viewpoints to ones that won't make me want to sue every school I ever went to for negligence.

Fabulous examples of my naivete can be found on my previous blog, but this one I will try to handle with more humor.

Instead of my usual disclaimer, stating that, "my opinions may change. Hold me to what I've said if you must, but don't hold me to my former opinions. The goal is to change those," I will instead open this blog with a new disclaimer: I'm not taking any of this stuff (myself) that seriously. It is with the purpose of humor and gaiety that I present these "perspectives."

DDMC